Why Parents Are the Ultimate Coaches: Why Training, Not Just Teaching, Shapes Our Kids

by Louisa Afful
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a woman teaching a young girl in preparing food
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In the grand game of raising children, parents often find themselves on the front lines, wielding the dual roles of both coaches and cheerleaders. But what does it mean to truly train a child, and how does this differ from simply instructing or admonishing? Let’s dive into why the training provided by parents is so crucial, and why everything beyond that training might just be a double-edged sword.

Parents: The Head Coaches of Life

Think of parents as the head coaches in the game of life. Just as a coach trains athletes with skill-building drills and strategic plays, parents train their children with essential life skills and values. This isn’t just about teaching kids how to tie their shoelaces or memorize multiplication tables. It’s about instilling discipline, resilience, and the ability to navigate life’s ups and downs with grace.

Parents don’t just offer advice; they demonstrate how to tackle challenges, make decisions, and interact with others. This is crucial because children learn by example. If a parent demonstrates patience, problem-solving, and kindness, their children are likely to mimic these traits. Training involves consistent effort and engagement, ensuring that these lessons are internalized and not just superficial.

Teachers: The Guiding Instructors

Now, let’s talk about teachers. While parents lay the groundwork, teachers step in as skilled instructors, guiding students through specific subjects and academic skills. Teachers offer structured knowledge, helping students grasp concepts and develop cognitive abilities. They provide the tools and techniques needed to excel in the classroom and beyond.

In this sense, teachers are like the specialized trainers who fine-tune the athletes, focusing on techniques and strategies. They offer feedback, correct mistakes, and challenge students to push their limits. However, teachers can only build upon the foundation laid by parents. They don’t have the luxury of time to instil core values or teach life skills; their role is to hone and refine the knowledge and skills students have already begun to develop.

Admonishment: The Coach’s Tough Love

Admonishment is another essential aspect, akin to the tough-love moments in a coach’s playbook. It’s about addressing mistakes, offering constructive criticism, and pushing children to do better. While admonishment can help correct behavior and reinforce lessons, it’s often the least favoured part of parenting and teaching. Nobody likes being scolded, but it’s a necessary part of growth and development.

However, it’s important to balance admonishment with encouragement and support. Overemphasis on criticism without adequate praise can lead to diminished self-esteem and motivation. A well-rounded approach includes both praise for achievements and constructive feedback for areas of improvement.

The Danger of Neglecting Training

Here’s where things get critical: everything given to a child outside of structured training can be risky. Children exposed to unfiltered influences, whether from peer pressure, media, or other external sources, may develop misguided beliefs or behaviors. Without proper training, these external inputs can skew their understanding of the world and their role in it.

For instance, children who lack solid training in distinguishing right from wrong may struggle to navigate complex social situations. They might be swayed by negative influences or adopt harmful behaviors. That’s why it’s essential for parents to consistently provide a guiding hand, ensuring that their children are well-prepared to handle life’s curveballs.

The Balancing Act

So, what’s the takeaway? The best approach to raising children involves a delicate balance between training, instructing, and admonishing. Parents lay the foundation with life skills and values, teachers build on that foundation with specialized knowledge, and admonishment helps refine and correct. Everything outside of this structured approach can be risky and potentially detrimental.

In the end, parenting is less about perfection and more about consistency, engagement, and guidance. By actively training, instructing, and occasionally admonishing, parents and teachers together create a solid framework for children to thrive. After all, it’s not just about raising kids; it’s about preparing them for the game of life with all its challenges and opportunities.


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